I promised myself I wouldn’t forget to properly post the latest winner, so here we are. Though given how things went with Abraham Lincoln, maybe the less the better. Come on, we can all agree that it was NOT my finest work.
So, here we are, poll #10, we’re going bowling. That’s right, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama won. May I never have to worry about making everyone choose any of these ever again, though I’m definitely going to still revisit them on my own time. Mmm Coeds. Anyways, here’s the trailer for Sorority Babes again, and the final numbers below it.
Total votes cast: 15
4th Place: Bad Taste with 2 votes
3rd Place: State Park with 3 votes
2nd Place: The Coed and the Zombie Stoner with 4 votes
WINNER: Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama with 6 votes
Yo, Gilbert? What the fuck is up with this? These are all movies that we most definitely did not vote for in past polls. Why are they being presented again?
That’s exactly right, these are all movies that got dead last in their previous polls, and this time around, I’m giving them all a second chance. Something we’ll probably do in future polls as well, though perhaps not third chances. Choose well! You have until end of day September 4th.
When a nerdy sorority girl falls in love with a zombie, it’s only a matter of time before a zombie apocalypse is unleashed on campus. The sorority girl discovers that weed is the cure–now she must smoke out the entire school before it’s too late.
The population of a small town disappears and is replaced by aliens that chase human flesh for their intergalactic fast-food chain.
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama
As part of a sorority ritual, pledges and their male companions steal a trophy from a bowling alley; unbeknownst to them, it contains a devilish imp who makes their lives a living Hell.
A business man plans to dump toxic waste in a state park, but it doesn’t go according to plan.
He emancipated the slaves… he saved the Union… and slaughtered the undead!
While the Civil War rages on, President Abraham Lincoln must undertake an even more daunting task – destroying the Confederate Undead.
History can be hard to write about, especially when it’s newly revealed information to you. This Abraham Lincoln documentary has presented me with information I never learned about in junior high or even high school, and its presenting varying amounts of distrust in our education system in me.
Granted I’m nearing the age of 39, but still. Missed history is missed history.
I literally do not recall ever hearing about Lincoln battling zombies at all…AND BOOTH WAS ACTUALLY TOLD TO SHOW UP AND DO LINCOLN IN? WHAT?
Johnny Boo was told to show up and take Lincoln out to prevent a spread of this zombie virus? If you paid enough attention to the documentary, you know that Lincoln had a history with this virus, so he’s not completely ignorant of what’s going on, and takes up arms, willingly, to face the zombie virus head on. Enough that he knows complete eradication is needed to “cure” it, and there is 100% guaranteed fatality rate for anyone that gets infected. Abe tells no lies.
Most of this docu is really just visuals of Abe and his mini team moving around to various forts, taking zombies out and trying to save what people they can, including an old flame of his who turned to sex work to get by. With her came a daughter, a fellow lady of the night, and a young Teddy Roosevelt.
At some point, they get to a situation where they can make a big boom and take out all the remaining zombies trapped inside a fort.
But it’s all for naught as mentioned above, with Booth getting the assignment of a lifetime.
I am being informed that this movie is a work of badly done fiction, and none of it is true, outside of various names and places. Events that occurred are not guaranteed though. I’m going to go re-evaluate my life. Fuck.
Watch this if you want to make yourself believe you missed out on fake history.
We’re not crazy, we’re insane, or at least in the context of this month we’re featuring only movies from The Asylum. We’ve had movies from them in past polls, and 2012 Ice Age is from them as well, so you know how it’ll go.
Poll will be available until the start of Independence Day, July 4th at Midnight.