Tromeo and Juliet

This movie comes off the way Shakespeare haters feel when they’re forced to endure Shakespeare in general. It’s a movie that’s loosely based on Willy Shakes’ story “Romeo and Juliet”, though parts of me want to say it’s as loosely based, as Juliet’s dad is not a loose cannon. So it’s generally pretty on. He’s not right in the head.

Tromeo and Juliet title card screenshot. "Romeo" is spraypainted over to read "Tromeo"
It’s ironic because the production company is named Troma Entertainment…get it? Send booze.

According to the gods of film, Internet Movie Database, the plot is summed up as thus:

A modern, punk adaptation of Shakespeare’s classic. Told irreverently, this film attempts to impact the viewer in the same way theater-goers were affected in Shakespeare’s time. Bawdy, Violent, Humorous, and Romantic.

Tromeo, a filmmaker, falls in love with Juliet, the daughter of a former partner who tried to steal his business from him.

~ Schmucks at IMDb

Except it is Tromeo’s African-American father who is the former partner with Juliet’s loose cannon dad.

Former prowrestler Brian Pillman in his "Loose Cannon" gimmick.
Wrong loose cannon, bloggerman

Seriously, if you like Cappy Capulet as a human by the end of the movie, there’s no amount of mental help that can save you. We’ll leave it at that.

By 1996, The Tromaverse had been an established metaverse via a long history of consistent self reference. Throughout this movie you can see glimpses of memorabilia and the like for The Toxic Avenger flickers, Class of Nuke’em High, I was a Teenage TV Terrorist, Troma’s War, Stuck on You, Surf Nazis Must Die, and likely others that I missed catching. Toxie even makes a cameo of being too lazy to mop anything up, even if it is London. Melvin, you slacker.

Characters sitting and dancing at a party with one person on the floor.
Toxie can’t find it in his toxic heart to clean up that hot mess on the floor. Oh wait, that’s London.

Anyways, we’re here to talk Tromeo and his Juliet. Wherefore art thou focus.

Beef wars

But first, a bit more setup explanation. As mentioned earlier, the beef started with Cappy Capulet having a cow and blackmailing Monty Que for complete ownership of Silky Films. Our brother Monty got left with nothing. Thus, Ques, Caps, gang warfare.

Making the world one great big hug

Opening up the movie is a nightclub scene befitting the mid 90s. How do i know it was the mid 90s outside of looking at the release year? Glad you asked. Not only was it a happening club, it also had its own Net Cafe. For $10/hr not adjusted for inflation, you could surf the world wide web while you watched Sammy be a skeezeball. The age of Aquarius was promised to Sammy Capulet as he tried to convince his sister Georgie to go do some drugs with him and possibly hook up a bit. She’s too smart for that and knows that’s not what they do. He tries persuasion for at least a bit longer with the footnotes of gangbangers, perverts, anorexia all being in style, throw a little incest in to that mix and you get that great big pervy hug. Don’t worry folks, she still doesn’t go for it.

Sammy and Georgie Capulet on the dance floor
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius. Age of Aquarius!

Oh you want more evidence that it was the mid 90s? Was the Net Cafe not enough? Alright, fine. Check out this movie, and you’ll get to see a very hot intensive solo session from Tromeo, with his Shakespeare Sex Interactive. That’s right, The Bard’s Dirty Deeds distributed on interactive CD-Rom. God I feel old because I remember CD-Roms.

Anyways, Tromeo and friends eventually decide to crash a party where Tromeo finds out his girlfriend is cheating on him with another guy. It’s always the cheating. He’d have time to suffer a broken heart if he didn’t suddenly spring a beefer after looking across the room to see Juliet.

Tromeo in a cow outfit checking out Juliet off screen
Heheheheehe I have a beefer in my pants, check out that babe. I hope she’s not vegetarian.
Tromeo and Juliet dancing in front of a star-lit night sky
Oh god, is that a beefer in his pants? I hope he won’t be disappointed that I’m a vegetarian.

If you’ve lived in the United States in the past who knows how many years, chances are you were subjected to the Romeo and Juliet story, so you know how things go. You’re down with the Bard.

What makes Tromeo and Juliet such a unique viewing is how Troma Entertainment just upends all of what you thought you knew, and things land in a way you sort of know, but are just a bit grossed out by. I mean really, let’s run down the list.

  • Lesbianism
  • Incest
  • Limb decapitation
  • Vegetarianism with a lusting for Tromeo’s beefer
  • Phone calls while on the toilet, that you can’t even hold things in long enough to finish the call

Yes, you heard me right, vegetarianism. Troma knew it couldn’t go any lower.

Tromeo looking up at Juliet in a plexiglass container
What light from yonder Plexiglas breaks? New Cell, who dis? Oh hi Tromeo.
London about to have Juliet's new temporary form revealed to him.
Don’t worry Juliet, I’m sure your acne will clear up in time for the wedding.

Troma does do a solid for Juliet and her Tromeo though. They don’t have the audacity, or potentially any more budget, to have the two kill themselves at the end of this telling. Instead, they are made into legitimate siblings instead. Incest! Thanks Troma-Bard.

Final Thoughts

Completely honest, not sure I’m going to put this into any sort of regular personal viewing, but if I’m bestowed the honor of organizing a Troma-thon or am requested to introduce someone to some messed up movies, I could absolutely handle some more re-watches.

I’m available for booking.

Extras

Theme Song

Trailer

Streaming information

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Tromeo-Juliet-Will-Keenan/dp/B01FZA8894/ref=sr_1_1

An amalgamation of Gilbert Gottfried and Rhonda Shear, original hosts for USA Up All Night. Gilbert Shear is a blogcast journalist who manages to enjoy campy, cult, and even bad movies. What better to do with that than create a platform to discuss those movies while honoring the show that celebrated them in years past.

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