Let’s go down to Uncle Impy’s Monkey paw jamboree!
Howdy folks, who’s your favorite Imp? Let me introduce you to our sorority posse!
Yeah, I stole those lines from the “Lester’s Possum Park” scene in “A Goofy Movie”. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?! Nothing…and like it!
What are we actually here to talk about? That’s right, Sorority Babes. Mmm, babes…pledging to sororities…Sorority…babes. Sorry, where was I?
Before we get into our actual post, here’s some easy listening to read the rest of the post by. Enjoy.
Who are our sorority babes you may be asking? Well, we have two, Taffy and Lisa.
They want to pledge to Pi Chi Omega, no wait, that’s not right. They want to actually pledge to Beta Theta Pi. Shit, that’s not it either. I got it…they want to pledge to Feltya Delta………………..shit that’s still incorrect. Audibly, they want to pledge to Tri Delt aka Delta Delta Delta in a house that looks like it could have been owned by my parents in the 80s. Where’s the decent sorority house that the budget couldn’t afford? Huh?
Anyways, we also have three horny males to deal with, as always, because sororities and horror.
Here, is Keith. He wants to be all up in Lisa’s business like nobody’s business.
This charmer is Jimmie, he wants gooooooooooooooooold *end Goldmember imitation* My head is gonna roll for that one.
Finally, we have booze lightweight Calvin. One beer and he’s knackered. At least Doc Brown needed something stronger, like whiskey, to fall off his rocker. Calvin also pukes way more than should have been possible with his single beer water.
Keith lets it be known that he learned of where the Tri Delt initiation proceedings are taking place, and seeing as the three of them are full blooded American males, they were all for that.
Look guys, sadomasochism just doesn’t appeal to meCalvin
It’s naked girlsJimmie
Well that appeals to me, yeah.Calvin, again.
With their pocket boob dowsers turned on, the three make their way over to the sorority house to gawk and ogle the proceedings. They also stupidly go inside for further viewing, before getting caught by Babs the Dominatrix, Brutal Babs the Wicked Warden, first of her name, or something. Anyways, the boys are punished and have to go to the local Bowl-a-rama with Lisa and Taffy as part of the ongoing initiation and break in to steal a trophy as proof that they did the task. Yay burgling!
We’re gonna score tonight!
Our intrepid babes and dowsers make it over to the Bowl-a-rama and after a little bit of effort, manage to break in. However, they also encounter an overgrown but petite creature so named Spider. She was in the area just burgling herself, except she wanted cold hard cash and pinball money, more than a trophy.
Of course size matters, so they take the largest trophy in the case. A little bit of scuffling here, a push and shove there, and they end up dropping the trophy to the ground, unleashing Uncle Impy.
The Imp with the pimp limp
Uncle Impy is this magical creature, able to grant the wishes of everyone present.
Jimmie was the first one to bite, and he let Impy know that he wanted gooooooooooooooooold. Impy, being the generous imp that he is, gave Jimmie enough gold that he could get his hair done, get his nails done, and even maybe buy multiple Porsche’s.
Taffy, meanwhile, never won prom queen, and wished to fulfill that dream of hers since last year. Uncle Impy crowned her immediately.
Keith decided to point his pocket boob dowser at Lisa’s voluptuous rack, requesting the chance to sleep with her. Impy was more than happy to turn on the nymphomaniac hidden inside Lisa. Calvin and Spider were a bit more hesitant to do anything and opted out of taking any wishes.
Hell breaks loose
At about this point, our fine babes and boys are officially trapped inside the bowl-a-rama and it’s an all out war. Babs, Rhonda, and Frankie had also followed everyone to the bowl-a-rama for further general hazing and torment. Uncle Impy makes good use of them and turns them into possessed murderous monsters.
The real star
Janitor, Janitor, he’s our man! He can’t hear you because his aid is on the fritz. Better for him to just stay here and keep an eye on everyone.
Thankfully, Janitor has been around awhile and was there the last time Uncle Impy was on the loose, he also remembered how to capture. See, he’s useful! Even if Spider and Calvin can’t effectively talk with him sometimes. Sadly, to us, gladly to Uncle Impy, everyone seems to be dying, and it’s up to Spider and Calvin to once again capture Impy and put an end to his uncle madness.
This is the end…
What is this? A coffin for imps? Yes, yes it is, thanks to Spider and Calvin.
This was the most popular feature shown on USA Up All Night with Rhonda Shear. The episode was co-hosted by star Linnea Quigley.
Linnea Quigley said Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama was a dream job because it was one of the rare times she didn’t have to get naked.